Motherhood's Triggers & You: Why It's Okay and How to Cope

Motherhood. It's a beautiful journey filled with cuddles, precious milestones, and unconditional love. But let's be honest, it has the potential to be incredibly triggering as well.

This post is to acknowledge the moments that push your buttons, bring up old wounds, or leave you wondering “Why does this feel so hard?”.

Personally, motherhood flung me into deeper self-work than I ever expected. Feeling lost, alone, confused or ashamed are moments that reflected past experiences in me that wanted my attention.

This is partly the reason I do what I do - to help others go through and grow through these expeiences. Let's unpack what's going on in the background.

Why Does Motherhood Feel Triggering?

Motherhood is beautiful - but it’s also relentless. It's a 24/7 invitation to stretch, bend, adapt ... and still hold everything together.

The constant demand can wear down even the most resilient nervous system. But for many mums, it does more than exhaust - it activates. It touches on unprocessed stuff. Old hurt. Forgotten fear. Anger you didn’t know was still there.

This can feel disorienting. You’re doing your best to show up with love - and suddenly, you're overwhelmed, reactive, or shutting down.

Here’s why that happens...

Common Roots of Emotional Triggers in Motherhood

Unresolved childhood wounds

Your child’s behaviour can unknowingly echo parts of your own upbringing. If you didn’t feel heard, safe, or supported as a child, those feelings can resurface - loudly - when your own child is struggling or pushing boundaries.

Chronic stress and exhaustion

Sleep deprivation, overstimulation, the constant “to-do” list... it wears thin. And when your system is depleted, it’s much easier to get reactive.

Unmet needs

You’re always meeting everyone else's needs. But what about yours? Feeling chronically overlooked - by others or yourself - can leave you resentful, and resentment is one of the loudest triggers.

Developmental differences or behavioural challenges

Parenting a child who needs more support can bring deep love and deep overwhelm. When progress is slow or difficult, it can trigger feelings of helplessness or guilt.

Unequal load in relationships

If you’re carrying the mental, emotional, and physical weight of the household alone - it’s not just tiring, it’s maddening. Feeling unseen or unsupported by your partner can bring up old stories of invisibility or worthiness (there is a really good book about it, message me if you'd like to read it).

What You Can Do When You’re Triggered

1. Notice what’s really happening

Start by getting curious. What exactly is setting you off? What’s the story underneath - “I’m not supported”, “I’m failing”, “I’m alone”?

2. Practice self-care (the real kind)

Self-care isn’t just a face mask or a bath - though those can help too. It’s giving yourself space to feel, rest, reflect, and be held. It’s prioritising your nervous system, not just your schedule.

3. Seek support

Talk to someone who gets it. Whether it’s a therapist, coach, support group, or a friend you trust - sharing your experience can diffuse so much of the shame.

For deeper work, hypnotherapy can be incredibly helpful. It gently accesses the subconscious stories that fuel your triggers, so you can shift them at the root - not just manage the symptoms.

4. Reframe what you’re seeing

That moment when your child is “misbehaving”? It’s not always defiance. Often, it’s developmental. Books on child development can help you shift from “they won’t” to “they can’t - yet.” That small reframe builds compassion.

5. Regulate your nervous system

Deep breathing. EFT tapping. Somatic exercises. Journaling. Movement. Even if you only manage these after bedtime, they still matter.

Each time you practise, you’re teaching your brain a new pathway back to calm.

Motherhood Isn’t About Being Unshakable

It’s about being honest. Soft where you can be. Supported when you need to be.

You’re not meant to hold it all without flinching.

Being triggered doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means something in you is asking to be seen. If you can find 2-3 hours to dive deeper in that 'something', I offer my support so you can initiate that healing.