How Emotional Trauma Changes Your Body Over Time

If you’ve met me in person, you’ll know I’m often the one bringing in the optimism. Cracking a dry joke mid-crisis to make the heavy feel a little less heavy. Not because I shy away from the hard stuff. Quite the opposite.

I understand just how deeply pain can burrow into the body, how old patterns can pull us back like quicksand, making our pain feel familiar and, strangely, even cosy.

But what I've learnt is that living in the shadow 24/7 won't heal us. We need to bring the truth - not the distorted kind that echoes in your mind since the trauma, but the big picture, resolved truth - into the light, to experience healing.

In this post, I’m going to share some uncomfortable realities about the lasting effects of emotional trauma. But I won’t leave you there, so keep reading til the end. And if you feel any tension or overwhelm along the way, anchor yourself in a moment of nature or beauty, and come back when you're ready.

The invisible aftermath

Most of us know trauma affects our emotional world. But what if I told you it could also change you on a cellular level?

A recent study looked at women who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). These were women who had already left their abusive relationships. On the surface, they were “out.” But inside their bodies, something was still echoing.

Researchers measured the length of their telomeres - those protective caps on the ends of our chromosomes that act like little buffers against ageing. Shorter telomeres mean faster cellular ageing, which is linked to a higher risk of physical illness and, in some cases, earlier onset of menopause symptoms.

And guess what? The women who had experienced IPV had significantly shorter telomeres than those who hadn’t. Even after the abuse had ended, their cells were still holding the stress.

What really stood out

The study found that it wasn’t just the type of abuse that mattered. It was how long it lasted. And whether the woman was a mother during that time.

Parenting in the middle of abuse adds an invisible weight. You’re not only surviving for yourself. You’re shielding, soothing, explaining, pretending. And the toll is both emotional and biological.

So if you've ever wondered why you're still tired even though it's “over,” this might be part of your answer.

But this is not where we stop

I’m not sharing this to make you feel worse. I'm aiming to shed light on something that's probably been occupying your mind if you experienced trauma in your relationships. Understanding why you feel how you feel is an important step to softening the shame you've been unconsciously carrying.

You're not too sensitive. You're not lazy. You're not imagining things. Your body has been on high alert for years. It’s done what it could to keep you going. Because that's its job.

And now, if you feel ready to heal your past, there are few things that can support your body's recovery - including the health of your telomeres. Physical activity, better sleep, good nutrition, and a safe and loving environment help rewire your nervous system and in some cases, even reverse telomere shortening.

I know these can feel like luxuries for many of us. Especially in the perimenopause or menopause years, when your brain and body are already low on energy, low on capacity, and stretched thin from trying to hold everything together.

This is why bigger-impact tools come in. Tools like hypnotherapy - not just to help you rewrite the past, but to build the kind of inner scaffolding that makes real change feel possible.

Feeling hopeful and motivated about change will come easier for you when you've got at least one person mirroring that hope back to you. If you choose that person to be me, be prepared - I tend to reflect back a disco ball kind of energy. Bold and full of hope.