When Your Mind Won’t Let Go: A Calmer Way Through Obsessive and Intrusive Thoughts

Do you ever feel like your mind just won’t let something go? Maybe you find yourself checking the doors one more time… then again. Or replaying a conversation from days ago, wondering if you said too much—or not enough. That quiet, mental looping can be exhausting. It chips away at your sense of calm, often without anyone else even knowing it’s happening.

And let’s be real—we don’t have excess energy to burn on looping thoughts when life already feels full, do we? Well, I have good news for you: you’re not stuck with it forever. Once you understand what’s driving these thoughts, there is a way to soften their grip.

Understanding What’s Really Going On

Obsessive thoughts often centre around worry, doubt, or fear. They show up as repetitive loops—“Did I do that right?” “Am I safe?” “What if I mess it up?”—with a pressure that feels urgent, even if nothing urgent is actually happening.

Intrusive thoughts tend to come out of nowhere (I call this 'nowhere' the subconscious mind). They can be strange, intense, or upsetting. Unwanted images, thoughts that go against your values, fears that don’t make sense but still feel real. If this sounds familiar, please know: you’re not broken. These thoughts are not who you are. They’re symptoms—not truths. Signals—not definitions.

What both have in common is this: they thrive on fear, uncertainty, and a nervous system that’s been pushed past its comfort zone for too long.

How to Loosen the Grip

If you feel caught in a cycle of overthinking or unsettling thoughts, you don’t need to fight them. That just feeds the loop. Instead, here are a few simple ways to shift how you respond:

• Notice, don’t attach. The fact that you can observe a thought means you aren’t the thought. Let it pass through like a cloud—you can even visualise it as a cloud passing.

• Redirect gently. Ground yourself in something present. Long exhalations help. Touch something textured. Focus on the colours around you. These small things help remind your body you’re safe.

• Write it down. A looping thought often loses power when it’s written. Get it out of your head and onto paper—then scrunch it up and toss it in the bin. (There are even studies showing it works better when you physically throw it away. Your brain loves a symbolic gesture.)

• Speak to yourself like someone you care about. If your mind goes into criticism mode, meet it with kindness. Try: “I’m allowed to learn as I go,” or “It’s okay to not have all the answers right now.” (If you'd like a free list of supportive self-talk swaps, click here to download it.)

• Do it once, then move on. If the thought is tied to an action—like checking the lock—do it once, consciously, and then tell yourself, “That’s done.” Reinforcing the action only strengthens the loop.

• Get support if you need it. If these thoughts feel relentless, distressing, or start interfering with your daily life—please don’t keep it to yourself. You don’t have to manage it alone.

A More Rooted Way Forward

In my work, I often meet people who’ve been dealing with obsessive or intrusive thoughts for years—sometimes decades. Often, they’ve tried everything they can think of, but nothing seems to stick.

One approach I use is a blend of hypnotherapy, neuroscience, and deep behavioural work to get underneath the surface patterns. We look at where these thoughts began—what they were protecting you from—and then start to rewire those responses in a way that feels safe and sustainable.

It’s not about controlling your mind. It’s about building a new relationship with it.

You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck Here

Reclaiming your peace of mind is possible. Truly. Even if the thoughts feel loud now. Even if you’ve been carrying them for a long time. With the right tools, and the right support, it becomes easier to quiet the noise and hear yourself again.

If you’re ready to explore that kind of support, I’d love to hear from you.