Have you ever found yourself spiraling into a negative emotional loop, replaying a frustrating situation over and over again in your head? How long would you spend doing it? Couple minutes perhaps? Or half a day?
I remember spending a good amount of time ruminating on a conversation, feeling judged or misunderstood, and stewing on it for hours or even days. What I didn’t realize was that my own contribution to this emotional turmoil was quite substantial, even though it was happening unconsciously.
So why do we stay stuck in these negative emotions, long after the initial trigger?
According to Harvard neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, the chemical cascade triggered by stress or frustration lasts just 90 seconds. Yes, you read that right—90 seconds. After that, the hormones flooding your system begin to clear out. So why do we still feel upset long after that window has passed?
Why We Stay Stressed Beyond 90 Seconds
The simple answer is: our thoughts. Even though our bodies stop producing the stress hormones after that initial 90-second burst, our minds can keep us trapped in a loop of negative thinking. We replay the situation, overanalyze it, and reinforce whatever core beliefs our subconscious mind holds—whether it’s feeling not good enough, misunderstood, or judged.
This mental rehashing keeps the stress hormones pumping, making it harder to calm down. What could have been a short-lived emotional reaction turns into an hours- or days-long ordeal.
Hormones and Emotional Overwhelm
Hormones can also play a significant role in how long we stay in emotional distress. If you experience PMS or PMDD, or if you’re going through menopause, you’ve likely felt the added difficulty of keeping your cool when your hormones are fluctuating. During these times, it can feel like emotional regulation is out of reach, regardless of the 90-second rule. And that’s completely normal.
But understanding the science behind it can help us approach those moments with more compassion and less frustration.
Using the 90-Second Rule to Navigate Emotions
The 90-second rule is a simple, yet powerful tool that can help you regulate your emotions and prevent them from spiraling out of control. Here’s how to use it:
Recognize your emotional trigger – When you feel overwhelmed, pause and identify what’s causing the stress or frustration.
Set a timer for 90 seconds – This helps you stay focused and allows the wave of emotion to pass naturally.
Focus on your breath – Take slow, deep breaths, and pay attention to the sensation of your breath moving in and out of your body.
Observe your thoughts without judgment – Instead of pushing your thoughts away, acknowledge them. But don’t engage with them—just let them pass.
Assess how you feel after 90 seconds – You should start to notice that you feel a little calmer and clearer.
The Benefits of the 90-Second Rule
By consistently practicing the 90-second rule, you can:
Reduce stress and anxiety – Without feeding the negative thoughts, your body can return to its calm, balanced state more quickly.
Improve emotional regulation – The more you practice, the better you’ll become at observing emotions without getting caught in them.
Make more mindful choices – With a clearer mind, you can make decisions that reflect your true intentions, not your momentary frustrations.
Enhance overall well-being – Less time spent in emotional turmoil means more energy for what really matters in life.
Could Hypnosis Help Implementing the 90-Second Rule?
From personal experience, I can confidently say that it can. I used to spend hours—even days—replaying situations in my mind, feeling frustrated, misunderstood, and stuck. I’d talk to friends about it, which often deepened the emotional impact, keeping me trapped in a cycle of overthinking. But over time, by practicing what I preach—combining hypnotherapy, mindfulness, and behavioral therapy—I’ve learned to recognize those patterns and break free from them before they spiral out of control.
Does it work 100% of the time? No, and that's okay. I’m not striving for perfection; good enough is good enough for me. About 90% of the time, I can catch myself, apply the 90-second rule, and move on. And that's a huge win.
The 90-second rule is a powerful tool for emotional regulation, helping you step back and observe your feelings instead of being swept away by them. But let's be honest, when you're in the heat of the moment and the emotional wave is about to knock you over, it's not always easy to remember to use this tool.
That’s where hypnosis comes in
Incorporating hypnotherapy into your emotional toolkit helps embed these coping strategies deeply in your mind. Through hypnosis, you can condition your brain to recognize those emotional triggers earlier and shift into a calm, clear state before the wave even hits. It allows you to make the 90-second rule a natural response, rather than something you have to actively remind yourself to do.
Ready to stop the mental replays and embrace more peace in your life? By combining mindfulness, the 90-second rule, and the power of hypnotherapy, you can develop a deeper sense of emotional control and finally break free from the loops that hold you back. Let’s work together to make this your new normal.
Wrapping It Up
Reclaiming emotional control doesn’t happen overnight, but with the right tools and consistent practice, it’s absolutely within reach. Whether you’re navigating day-to-day frustrations or dealing with long-term emotional patterns, the 90-second rule and hypnotherapy can help you stop the spiral before it starts. Empower yourself to live with more calm, clarity, and peace—and say goodbye to those never-ending loops of stress.
Are you ready to embrace this change? Let’s start the journey together.