How Your Brain Filters Reality (And How to Change That)

Ever noticed how the moment you start thinking about buying a certain car, suddenly every second vehicle on the road is that exact one? I had that with a Defender. For two weeks, I saw them everywhere. And I live in a pretty quiet area, so it definitely stood out.

Think it’s a sign? Maybe. Or maybe it’s just your brain doing what it’s designed to do.

If you could look inside your skull, at the base of your brainstem you'd find a tiny bundle of nerves called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). It's role is to filter through the millions of bits of information coming at you every second, and only let through what it thinks is important.

It decides what makes it into your conscious awareness… and what gets pushed aside as background noise.

Here’s what most don’t realise: your RAS doesn’t decide what’s important. You do.

And not always consciously.

The RAS quietly shapes how we see the world. It filters what we notice, backs up what we already believe, and subtly steers how we act. It’s behind those thought loops we keep repeating—and over time, those thoughts start to feel like truth.

If you’re constantly worrying about failing, not being good enough, or feeling behind — guess what your brain starts highlighting in your environment?

If you’re constantly worrying about failing, not being good enough, or feeling behind — guess what your brain starts highlighting in your environment? More evidence that matches those thoughts. A tone in someone’s voice. A social post. A memory from ten years ago. Suddenly, it’s all pointing to the same conclusion: I’m not doing enough.

This isn’t because you’re negative. It’s because your brain is efficient. It wants to help you focus on what matters to you — but it doesn’t distinguish between what’s helpful and what’s just familiar.

So what can you do?

Once you understand how your RAS works, things begin to make more sense. That feeling of being stuck in old patterns? It’s not a flaw. It’s simply your brain trying to be helpful. It believes it’s playing a role—keeping you safe, doing its part to support your survival.

Here’s what’s exciting—one of the most important scientific discoveries of our time: neuroplasticity (okay, it may not be 'exciting' exciting, but hear me out).

Your brain can change. When you give it something new to work with, it rewires.

Not overnight, but steadily. Thought by thought. Pattern by pattern. Hypnotherapy can speed this up—but that’s a topic for another day.

When you get clear on what you want to focus on—what truly matters to you—your RAS begins to shift. It starts noticing:

• Supportive, grounded thoughts

• Moments of calm or simple rituals that anchor you

• Quiet signs that you’re heading in the right direction

• Even the early signals of a spiral, so you can step out of it before it takes hold

The brain is built to adapt. And forcing a new mindset? That usually comes from fear.

You don’t need more pressure. You need better instructions.

So if you’ve been feeling stuck, scattered, or like your thoughts are working against you—mix it up a little. Offer your brain some attention. A bit of acceptance. Acknowledge its presence—and its constant effort to help you survive.

Then, if you’re up for it, throw in a few new instructions. Not to overwrite everything at once, but to gently introduce some doubt to those old beliefs that have overstayed their welcome. That’s how their grip begins to loosen.

And if this resonates, keep an eye out—soon I’ll be sharing more on how to work with your brain in a way that actually supports who you’re becoming.

You don’t have to do it alone.